No, not birds of the emotion, tampons and nipples variety. I’m talking REAL birds. Birds that flap and shit tipex.

Ever gazed out of your window and watched a bird peck at seeds or wrestle a worm? Sexy isn’t it? Ever seen a bird perchedBird WANG on a branch and thought: I’d love to use my cock as a bird feeding table?

You need Bird WANG.

In conjunction with Bill Oddie, Geoff Capes and Japan we proudly present Bird WANG: the world’s first cock bird feeding table.

For a one off payment of £4,578.99 we’ll rush you Bird WANG, an ergonomic, platinum penis perch direct to your door.

Simply skewer Bird WANG’s rod end firmly into the ground, rest your wanger in the V-Shaped penis holder provided and sprinkle on bird feed. Liberally. Marvel as the birds swoop in droves to peck, gouge and hammer at you pecker.

Joy is just a phone call away.

Buy Bird WANG today and receive a complimentary 1kg bag of ‘potent penis’ bird feed.
** STOP PRESS ** Buy Bird WANG yesterday and receive a signed picture of Bill Oddie wanking an owl.