Filthy Unventions

Struggling to stay awake at work? Tried all the traditional methods: caffeine, crystal meths, bum fingering? You need Jab-a-wake the only anti-sleep device with a PROVEN 43% success rate among insomniacs, rapists and unborn chimps. Simply glue Jab-a-wake to your left shoulder blade, insert 17 AAA batteries and press ‘ON’. At random intervals throughout the [...]

Hey you man. Who me? Yes, I’m talking to you. We’ve all been there before, night out, few Britneys, maybe some pharmaceuticals. The time comes. You need a PISS. You go to the toilet, head for the urinal only to find other men there pissing. Fuck. But now you have to go, because if you [...]

Tired of shitting out small, girlish, excrement? Wish you could squeeze out a long, steaming, turdy behemoth EVERYTIME? Don’t worry, help is on its way with NEW ‘Give a Shit’ for men. Rub this Haitian tree oil onto your crusty spinchter after every meal and BOOM your poo will shatter even the most stubborn cisterns. [...]