Filthy Unventions

25 Apr

Fed Up of Fish Flaps? Turn Cunninglingus into a Bovril Breeze

NEW IN! Mackerel muff… fish flange… prawn pocket… Are you sick of smelly genitals? It’s time to throw away your faux pebble air freshener and go straight to the source with Cunt Fan! Simply attach Cunt Fan to your partner’s navel using our ‘skin safe’ serrated belly clamp. When switched on it’ll waft away any [...]

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25 Apr

The ‘Handy’ Wankomatic Wanking Glove

Let’s face it, most of us wank because we’re bored, ugly – or because we’ve just seen a sexy, naked dwarf. But is that really enough? Is it wank! Wanking’s now so much better and it’s all thanks to tight fisted bods at the ‘Big Hand’ University in Tring. Once you slip your clammy fingers [...]

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