http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent For everything you cannot not live without Sun, 13 Jul 2008 14:52:36 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en No, not birds of the emotion, tampons and nipples variety. I'm talking REAL birds. Birds that flap and shit tipex. Ever gazed out of your window and watched a bird peck at seeds or wrestle a worm? Sexy isn't it? Ever seen a bird perched on a branch and thought: I'd ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2008/03/12/want-birds-to-peck-mercilessly-at-your-penis/ Struggling to stay awake at work? Tried all the traditional methods: caffeine, crystal meths, bum fingering? You need Jab-a-wake the only anti-sleep device with a PROVEN 43% success rate among insomniacs, rapists and unborn chimps. Simply glue Jab-a-wake to your left shoulder blade, insert 17 AAA batteries and press 'ON'. At random intervals ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2008/03/06/tired-of-bum-fingering-yourself-awake/ Love making nuisance calls? Wish you had an extra pair of hands so you could make MORE? Wish you had more phones? Wish you had more mouths so you could abuse several people at once? Well, help is here with NEW Multi Phone Nuisance Call Pro 5000. This is amazing unvention ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/05/17/its-good-to-talk/ Ever arrived at a pub only to find that there aren't any seats available? Hang on a minute, look over there in the corner. There's a table with enough space to seat 24 orphans, 6 wardrobes and a cow. Hoorah! you cry. But wait... oh no... there's someone sitting there. Look at ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/30/guarantee-yourself-a-pub-table-with-invisi-sick/ Hey you man. Who me? Yes, I'm talking to you. We've all been there before, night out, few Britneys, maybe some pharmaceuticals. The time comes. You need a PISS. You go to the toilet, head for the urinal only to find other men there pissing. Fuck. But now you have to go, because ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/26/piss-pen/ Tired of being treated like a fat leper just because the smell of public transport disgusts you? Fed up with 'red' Ken taxing you to cruise downtown in your pimped up Nova? Well now you can throw a LARGE HANDFUL OF SHIT at the Congestion Charge thanks to 'Ken-Fucker' - the ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/25/the-unshit-james-bond-car-that-says-no-to-congestion/ Ever wanted to let rip a flurry of poisoned arrows at someone like a man-sized spitting Cobra? Well now you can, and with 'ASBO Stop' you don't even need an excuse to start firing. ASBOs are legally fair game FACT! Particularly if you hit them directly in the eyes. Each 'ASBO Stop' ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/25/clean-up-your-shitty-gaff-with-asbo-stop/ Tired of shitting out small, girlish, excrement? Wish you could squeeze out a long, steaming, turdy behemoth EVERYTIME? Don't worry, help is on its way with NEW 'Give a Shit' for men. Rub this Haitian tree oil onto your crusty spinchter after every meal and BOOM your poo will shatter even ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/25/wave-goodbye-to-emmasculating-poo/ Let's face it, most of us wank because we're bored, ugly - or because we've just seen a sexy, naked dwarf. But is that really enough? Is it wank! Wanking's now so much better and it's all thanks to tight fisted bods at the 'Big Hand' University in Tring. Once you slip your ... http://popfilth.co.uk/unvent/2007/04/25/hello-world/